Welcome back, Zacchaeus! Having heard about him a year or so
told his story again at harvest.
During the early part of the service,
everyone brought their harvest gifts to the front of church. (They were later
given to the Muswell Hill soup kitchen.) Then, just after the speaker had
started to speak, Zacchaeus burst in to the church.
'Come on! Pay your
taxes!' he said, and proceeded to 'tax' the speaker - relieving him of £5
- and taxing the harvest gifts, taking away a giant packet of Jaffa cakes, a
big box of Nut Nut Nutty Nut Nut Flakes and a huge tin of baked beans. This so
flustered the speaker that he called for a song and went away to sit down. (He
did, of course, know that all this was going to happen.)
speaker stood up to speak again, and Zacchaeus reappeared! The speaker was more
wary this time, and told Zacchaeus that he had taken enough on his first
But Zacchaeus told the story about how he had met Jesus, and
become a Christian, and was mending his ways, and repaid the speaker £20,
and returned the groceries, and gave a lot of other very valuable things - a
big teddy bear, a bag of golf clubs, a phone ('have you just upgraded? Is this
your old phone?' 'No! That's the new model!') and so on.
The Jaffa cake
packet was made from a box that had previously contained a big roll of paper. I
painted it blue with poster paint, and drew all the rest with felt pens. Most
of the text was just blobs because nobody was going to read it.
Nut Nutty Nut Nut Flakes packet was an old box that a computer had been
delivered in. I painted it white using emulsion paint, and then drew the
lettering and Hazel the Squirrel with felt pens. The 'extra nuts' star was
printed onto orange paper from the computer, cut out and stuck on. There was
more stuff on the other sides - lists of ingredients (every type of nut I could
think of), warnings that nuts might be present, recommended daily allowance of
vitamin Nt, a competition to win a year's supply of nuts, that sort of
If I was a fussy man, I would say that I wasn't very happy with
this one. I quite enjoyed the verbal jokes, but the packet wasn't colourful
enough. It should have had a suggestion of green nut trees at the bottom, and
shaded woodland walks, and blue sky, and sunshine. There again, you can only
spend so much of Saturday making visual aids.
And I had a can of beans
This was made out of a piece of turquoise card, rolled into a
cylinder and stuck to two circles of foamboard. I covered the ends of the can
with aluminium foil and produced the label on the computer. Other text was
drawn by hand; I used a tippex pen for white lettering (not visible in the
You can listen to the
on the St James's Muswell Hill web site. And there's a special extra - an
interview with our new vicar.
A giant packet of Jaffa cakes.